There are No Words...

I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose a child. Mine was gone for 15 minutes and I had lost it completely. How do you go on? How do you face the next day knowing you'll never hear them laugh, see them smile, kiss them good night...

When I first heard about the accident today, I knew the first kid, not well, but knowing the family only makes it harder. I thought, "I can't believe it. How can that be? He's so young, what will that family do?"
Then we got thinking of the other three kids, we only knew there were three others in the vehicle, nothing of what happened, where, or the outcome. And my second thought was, "What if Dustin was in the ER when they brought these kids in? How do you deal with that?" I know he is professional and all, and he may not personally know the kids, but when you come from a small town like Magrath, you know them somehow. And I've seen him after working on kids that he doesn't even know, it affects him, how could it not...

So I went through the morning thinking of this family, a little worried about my husband, and feeling sad yet grateful about my life Then I heard about the last three kids...

I didn't know them well, at all, but two were in our ward. The one girl was in my Mia Maid class, I only got to teach her a handful of times. She was such a happy, sweet kid. And the other boy I met just a couple of weeks ago at our Youth Activity. I ended up driving him to the activity, and even though he had to ride in a van full of 12 year old girls and a woman he didn't know, he was kind and fun and just a great kid!
Seeing the kids at church was hard. Seeing the parents of the kids was hard. Everything about today was hard and like I told the girls, "It sucks. It's not great to say, but there's nothing else to say, it just sucks."

What do you tell the kid who's just lost her best friend? How do you comfort the group of kids who just a few hours ago had there naive small town life crumble down on them? How do you pick them back up and help them carry on?

The bishopric had a wonderful meeting with the youth. They talked of Our Heavenly Fathers plan of salvation. How we know that we are Children of God, that he sent us here, and we can live with him again. We will see our family and friends again. They reminded all of us of how these kids were in a place of happiness and they were waiting for us. And how we needed to remember to make the right choices so we could be with them and all our friends and family again.
It was really beautiful. My heart just ached for these kids, but at the same time, my heart soared because I knew what was being said was true. There is a plan for us, we may not always understand it, but it is there. God knows us and knows what we are going through and what we need. He will give us the strength and the comfort, especially when it's tough. I was just so proud to be a part of that group if kids, seeing them comfort each other, lift each other up and work together to get through this tragedy.

It also reminded me of why I love Magrath and why I wanted to move home. Its awful that 4 kids from one small town had to die so suddenly. I can only grasp a small bit of the sorrow that their families are going through right now. But I've seen this town pull together for so many things, that I know that there will be that support for these families and friends and they will have some help to struggle through. They will have people to lean on. They will know they are loved. Like tonight, merely hours after the accident, and there are 500+ people on the football field holding a Candle Light Memorial for these kids...

I ached for the kids today, watching them work through this. I hurt thinking of the mothers of these kids, knowing I would never know how to handle it. And yet I am so grateful for days like today when it makes you think. It makes you think of your life, how much you have, and how much you have to be grateful for. I'm grateful for the reminder that life is short and precious, and that 'I Love You's' should be expressed so many more times than they are. I am grateful for what I have been blessed with in this mortal life and with the knowledge of what awaits me and my family in the life to come.

Right now I am very grateful for MY life...

Gracie's Baptism...

Well, it was a beautiful day...and I was sooo happy all day long. I am so proud of my daughter for making this decision; the decision to be baptized.

Last year, when we hadn't known about moving home, we talked about having her baptism in Canada while we were here. She was very excited about that, and about getting baptized in

Del Bonita. So when we were moving home, it was going to happen anyways, AND, we were going to do it with Rylen.

These guys are so funny! Even though they really have been apart for most of their lives, as soon as they get together, its like there has been no time past. They just jump right back in. They were blessed together, they might as well be baptized on the same day.

And of course, she wanted her Dad to baptize her. She was a little nervous about it, especially being the first one, but I told her, her Daddy would help her. After she come out of the font, I couldn't stop crying, and she asked, "Why are you sad, Mom?" I told her I wasn't sad, I was just sooo happy and proud of this day, and that I could hardly believe that she was Eight Years old already.

We had it at Del Bonita, and our Bishop, Bishop Boyes was there to conduct and preside. Both Grampas were there to be witnesses. Great Gramma Chalmers was there as well as Penny, Larsyn and Ethan. Ethan gave a great talk on Baptism for the kids. We had to ask him, the kids just love him and he is so good with them! Uncle DJ and Jeri-Lynn were there with Lauren and Levi. JL gave a great talk on the Holy Ghost and gave the kids a bag full of goodies to help them remember everything He can do for them. Aunty Annie came, and so did Rylen's Gramma and Grampa Blasco. It was nice and small and just the family, just how I wanted it...

Gracie wore a very special dress. Her Gramma Sherry had made it for her Aunty Kelsey for her baptism and the Aunty Annie wore it as well. So now its Gracie's. And she just loved it!

I cannot believe these kids are 8!! It seems like just yesterday we were planning the blessing for them. But here they are. Gracie said, "It looks like we're getting married!"

Oh, Little Girl of Mine, I can hardly believe how big you are! I am so proud of you making this decision...

We are so grateful to have you in our family. You are always so happy and having fun. You brighten any room you come into...

I hope you remember this day, and remember what it means. Your Heavenly Father loves you so much, and this Gift of the Holy Ghost, will help you make the decisions you need to to live with Him again Someday...

Remember to be "strong and courageous and to stand up for what you believe in" like your Daddy blessed you with...

It is times like this that I am soo glad you have a mind of your own, and that you don't mind going against the grain. I know you will make the right choices, even if they are hard...

Sweet Gracie Dawn. You look so beautiful in your white dress. I cannot think of it, because I don't want it to happen, but I know that all too soon I will have a picture of you in another White Dress, ready to walk through those temple doors with your husband...

I cannot think of it, but I am so glad because I know you will be strong and make the best choices for yourself to get ready for that day.

I just hope it doesn't fly by like the last few years have...