Wordful Wednesday...Unity in Marriage...

This week's Wordful Wednesday is Unity in Marriage...how do you keep unity in your marriage, how do you decide who does what, how do you keep close...

I think that unity in marriage grows as your marriage grows. You learn as you go. I know when we started out, with my husband just starting school, myself being self employed...we went through some hard times both financially and emotionally. (I remember thinking "Why doesn't he just go home...oh ya, he lives here now!) But, we had made a commitment to each other, and one of those commitments was to work it out together. So as we got through each little disagreement, each month of scraping the bottom of the piggybank. We learned to work together.

We were married for 4 years when we moved to California. We had prayed about it and we knew it was the right thing for us...but I don't think we realized how hard it would be on us. Especially me. With my husband feeling the stress of the new job, trying to learn all he could everyday, and myself trying to learn how to function WITHOUT going to work, WITHOUT friends or family around...I had myself a little pity party. And I thought alot about what I was doing WITHOUT. I took it out on my husband with alot of tears and arguing about how bad I had it...until a girl at church was asking me about moving away from family and such, and said that she told her husband that "As long as we were together, we were family. And that's all I needed." I realized how right she was. I HAD my family. My wonderful husband, my beautiful kids, I HAD so much to be thankful for, and nothing to pout about.

When I started thinking about my life in that perspective, I realized how wonderful my husband was. What a great person he was, what a great Dad he was to my children, what a great friend he was to me. And I began to talk to him more. Not argue about everything, TALK. I would tell him if I was mad or upset or sad about somethings, but I would also tell him the good things, and more important, we would TALK. Like adults. And we started to grow alot closer, because the closest friend we had was each other.

As sad as it makes me that we are so far from our extended family and friends, I am so grateful for the blessing it has been to me, and our marriage, to move this far away. We have had to learn to lean on one another for support. We have learned to talk and most things we can get out in the open without arguing openly about it. (We are both also terrible at 'pouting', when something bothers us, but now it doesn't last long!) We have grown close because we work together and we talk about everything. Sometimes I talk alot and he just listens...or at least pretends to until I get it off my chest! But we TALK and I think that is the most important thing about our marriage. And now that we have learned to talk, I've learned that sometimes you don't need to talk to be close. Sometimes you just need to be together to be close.

Seriously Quiet...

We had an amazing time last week...Dustin's Mom and Dad and Sister, her husband and 3 boys came down and we enjoyed Disney, Sea World, Bako and the Sequoia's (Well, it was a little chilly in the mountains...)but more of that later. i have to show pics, so next time.

Right now, I'm sitting here in the quiet and wondering how I'm going to fall asleep. You would think that after a crazy, busy week, I would welcome it. I'm not sure right now. Dustin left to San Antonio this morning for a conference for work. I am so proud of him, doing so well at work, and now they want him to go to this conference to co-accept some type of award or something for work...I am so proud of him. But I am missing him like crazy. The days will not seem much different with him gone all week, since most days he is at work till 8 or 9, but at night. I can't stand the QUIET of the house. I get slightly paranoid of everything. And a King size bed is an awfully lonely place for one person...And I don't have my little heater to stick my cold feet on and warm up my side of the bed!

I will survive. The kids will keep me on my toes and we have a pretty busy week ahead of us, so there won't be much time to miss him too much. But when I go to bed, it will seem very quiet on that side of the bed. Who knew someone could miss snoring!?!

I love you, babe. I hope you are having a great time and we can't wait until you are home...especially my toes!

Wordful Wednesday....Love Songs...

So another Wordful Wednesday and in light of the romantic holiday approaching, we shall write about 'Our Song'...which we really don't have...We have never really sat down as a couple and 'picked' a song for 'us'. I have heard alot of songs that could describe how I feel about my husband, or our relationship, but when you've been together for 13 years, there are literally hundreds of songs that at any given time, could be labeled 'our Song'.

About the closest thing I can think of was when we were married, my mother put together this wonderful slideshow of pictures of the two of us, from the time we were kids till we were engaged. It was really fun, but she needed us to pick some songs to play with it. We sat for a long time and tried to find songs that would work and these are the three that we chose...

1. Keeper of the Stars by Tracy Byrd: This is probably the best song that I would call ours. I really like the fact that it talks about how we were 'destined' to be together, that there was someone out there fixing things so they worked out just right...especially since we knew each other in younger years, we tried dating a couple of times before we made it stick, and our grandparents were friends and used to talk about how they could get their families related...and along came us!

2. My Best Friend by Tim McGraw: He is my best friend, the one I REALLY want to spend my time with, even if its just sitting on the couch and not saying a word. We're together and that's all that matters.

3. The last one was kind of a joke, but it really makes sense when you think about it. Its from the movie 'The Wedding Singer' its the song Adam Sandler sings to Drew Barrymore at the end of the movie "I wanna grow old with you". I love it because thats what I want to do, I want to grow old with my husband and enjoy all the mundane things that life throws at us.

There you have it. He's my best friend that I was destined to grow old with! Everytime I hear these songs I think of the day we were married, and I smile. I am so happy to be with him, and even if the most romantic thing that we do now is have Wii Wednesdays together, I don't care...I love him.