Associations and Activities do not run without volunteers. People volunteer time to coach, or be a manager or even run the score clocks. Even the kids and adults that ref are volunteering. Yes, they get paid, but they still have to be willing to give up those afternoons and evenings to do that job. I appreciate every single volunteer that helps run Associations and teams. Whether they are managers or coaches or the people that wash the jerseys and keep score. These programs do not happen without them and the extra time they put in behind the scenes. Every coach that my kids have had has helped them become who they are. The coaches they have had, have helped to teach them about sportsmanship, disappointment, teamwork, dedication and fun. Things I know that they will be able to use log after they are done playing competitive sports. To me, these people, especially the Coaches, are the unsung heroes of our community.
It's an interesting thing being a Coach's Wife. You go to the games to watch the team play, to watch your kid play. To cheer with the other families and feel the camaraderie that comes with being part of a Hockey Family. And when you are a Coach's Wife, you also watch the Coach.
You watch the Coach spend hours planning practices and game strategies. You watch the coach give up extra time at work so he can be at the important games. You watch him struggle with decisions regarding each and every one of the kids on the team as well as the Team as a whole...and you get to hear the criticism from the parents.
Because it happens...more often than you think. And I want to shake some people and yell "Do you not see what those coaches are doing? What they are going through?" But they don't really see it, because they are not in those shoes. They don't see the extra work that is put in behind the scenes, between practices and games. They don't see the frustration as a play that was worked on for weeks is finally coming together, only to have a weird bounce of a puck throw the whole thing off. They don't see the coaches trying to coach each kid individually, but also coach the group of defensemen or wingers or goalies, AND try and see the whole Team and coach them as a whole.
You watch the Coach struggle to hold in the emotions and frustrations that come with working with kids. And with the frustration of Coaching something that, yes, takes skill and effort, but can also come down to pure luck that they have no control over. Will our Team show up to play? Will the other team be on a Hot streak? Will the ice be fast or slow? Will the kids be focused, or too busy thinking about the test they have coming on Monday in a class they are failing? So many factors in each and every game that many people miss, or don't even realize...
A Coach's position is voluntary, he is not paid to spend this time with the kids. I've heard people say "Well, if they can't do the job right, they shouldn't be coaching..." or "They signed up to Coach, they should understand what comes along with it..." I don't think they realize that a Coach DOES know these things...and he does it anyways. Through all the heat and criticism. He does it because he loves the game, and he wants to pass that love and learning on to a new generation. He does it because he had amazing Coaches growing up that helped shape him into the Human he is today and he wants to be able to do that for these kids. And most of all, he does it because he loves these kids...
Dustin will scoff at that. He claims that he is just there filling a position. Because he has to. But I know better. There are a lot of capable Dads in our Association. Many have helped him throughout the years. Many that he still looks to for advice and support. I know he does it because of his love for the game and his teams.
I know he loves it because he spends hours throughout the season, finding drills that will not only teach the boys, but that they will also enjoy. I've asked him why he doesn't just do the same ones, and he said that was boring. Yes, they do use some of the same things every week, but he tries hard to keep things fresh, new, exciting...because entertaining a group of Man Children is tough. Even if they love the game. So he takes time to plan practices, trying to teach the boys each and every time.
I know he loves it because he spends hours researching other teams. And when you are a Coach's Wife, you tend to get sucked down this rabbit hole too! I have spent many a time watching hockey games of teams that are not my own...because Coach is doing a little pre-game scouting. I have spent time listening to him discuss how best to approach different games with different teams, or even looking over stats to try and figure the best way to Coach his team to play their best against a certain team. He checks team stats, player stats, league stats...trying to put together a strategy for the next practice, and the next game.
I know he loves it because he spends extra time talking with the team. They come to talk to him outside of practices and games. They share dumb jokes with him and send him weird videos on the Team group chat. He enjoys talking with them, joking with them both on and off the ice. The kids on the Team are his boys. And because I'm a Coach's Wife, I feel like they are my boys too...
Being a Coach's Wife can be such a rollercoaster throughout the season. You see the ups and downs, not only of your child, the player, but of the Coach too. The balance of being a father first and then a Coach to your own player can also throw a wrench into the whole scheme of things! It can be so frustrating and annoying...I often wonder why he does it every single year. But it can also be so rewarding.
It's rewarding to see the Coach's plans work out the way he wanted. That doesn't always mean a Championship every year. Even just little things, like a certain player embracing a new position, or even watching a player improve way more than you thought they would. It can be watching a Team come together as a group, a Family, and be there for each other outside of the games. It can be watching that Coach at those games, and seeing the light of satisfaction in his face as he watches his Team play the best he has ever seen them play.
So the next time you are at a game, watching your child play (hockey, baseball, croquet...) whatever sport that they love to play...watch the coaches for just a little bit. Watch them pull a kid off to the side to give them a little one on one coaching or encouragement. Watch them hold their tongues when a ref doesn't seem to be seeing what they see. Or when a play falls apart. Watch them cheer and amp those kids up to try and get the best out of them every single game. Watch them love your child in a way that will help shape them forever...
