Getting Ready for a lonely Christmas

Christmas this year is going to look a little different this year. This Pandemic has changed so many day to day things, and now Christmas. It's weird and sad and unreal in so many ways. I've seen a few posts from some people, especially those with little kids, that are at a loss of what to do on Christmas...by yourselves. I am not an expert, but we have spent a few Christmases on our own, without family. Here's just a few ideas that might help. A lot of these I used when my kids were little. I'm still trying to wrack my brain for a few more ideas for the Tween/Teenagers that I have now!! So feel free to share!

Tips to ENJOYING Christmas by yourselves. I emphasize enjoying, because that is the goal. Not just surviving. Actually enjoying the Holiday...

*SPREAD OUT THE FUN! I had an Activity Advent calendar for the kids. They got to pick something for everyday of the month. Sometimes it was a game. Sometimes it was Christmas stories or Santa letters. Then they would pick and we would have one thing to do for that day. Even if it was something little, the build up and excitement of getting to find out what the activity would be was just as much fun for my kids! And, even when it was something small, they were satisfied because we did our 'Christmas thing' for that day.

* WRAP EVERYTHING! I mean everything. When Santa comes to our house, the stocking presents are not wrapped. Just stuff from Mom and Dad etc. are wrapped. So when we had Christmas alone, more presents are wrapped. And every piece is wrapped. It comes with batteries? Those are wrapped too! It helps drag out Christmas morning because you have to unwrap more presents!! 

* UNWRAP ONE AT A TIME! This is something my family did when I was a kid. One person, one present at a time. It's fun to see what everyone gets, and it helps drag out the morning. Also, when they are little, kids love to watch/help unwrap presents! They love it almost as much as getting the presents!

*PLAN THE SAME MENU! Have the same apps, food, dinner, treats. It helps, honestly. Just keeping that consistently makes it feel a little more normal. Now don't go crazy and have the same amount (like I did our first Christmas and there was my husband, myself, a 2 year old and a baby) Apparently I figured we needed a feast on Christmas Eve, AND a full blown turkey dinner. Now if you do, you won't have to cook for awhile, so there's that.

*MAKE SOMETHING FOR YOUR FAMILY! My kids liked to paint or color 'ornaments' for Grammas and Grampas. They also loved to decorate cookies. Sometimes we just made cards. It helps keep them 'connected' even when they can't be with them. And, let's face it, Gramma's love that.

*GINGERBREAD HOUSES! Take a whole evening. Make it a contest. Buy one for the whole family to build. Use graham crackers. Buy it at the dollarstore. Whatever, it keeps them busy for a full night of Christmas fun.

*GO LOOK AT LIGHTS! I'm sure everyone does this already, but we used to plan a whole night to drive around and see the lights. We would have a little snack for the kids and go to the neighborhoods that had the best lights. 

*DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE ELSE! Christmas Carol, can we still do that? Maybe at a distance. Donate to the Food Bank/Christmas Presence, Pick out toys for the Santa Tree, shovel someone's walk, write a letter to someone to mail. Reaching out helps take you out of your Lonely bubble in a small way. And it helps spread a little love and light into the world!

*FAMILY GAME NIGHT! Play a game. Just you and the kids. I know we have all done that a lot lately, but I'm sure, even the stubborn teenagers, still love spending that time together. Unless you are our family and we can't not play without making it into some sort of a competition, and someone ends up ticked because they lost...

*PUT ON A CHRISTMAS CONCERT! My kids would put on a concert for my husband and I. They would sing songs, play piano, do the nativity or whatever weird activity they decided needed to be a part of it. We would practice the few days before Christmas, and then they would put on a show. I used to video it and send it to the Grandparents. Now you could FaceTime or Zoom and have a interactive show! I'm already planning this, even though my kids think they are too cool for it! I'm making them do a Christmas concert for the family.

*MAKE MAGIC REINDEER FOOD! And sprinkle it on the lawn for Christmas Eve!

*CHRISTMAS MOVIES! So many Christmas movies...

*ENJOY THE LITTLE MOMENTS! Sit back and take in the little things that are happening in your home. We had a lot of Christmases alone, but my kids never once were sad on Christmas. It was always 'the best day!' They would ask about Gramma and Grampa and talk to them on the phone, but they were never sad or disappointed. They loved Christmas and had fun...

I may or may not be writing this as a reminder to myself at this time! My anxiety is running at an all time high right now. Between just getting ready for the season, and Pandemic issues and distance learning, I am literally running on caffeine and dry shampoo right now. I need to remember to step back and just enjoy this Holiday. Enjoy the little moments and remember why we celebrate Christmas. Be grateful for my kids and family and the fact that, as to date, we are all pretty healthy. I am trying to remind myself that, because this is hard. I have found that my kids and household reflect my attitude. When I am stressed and crazy and anxious, my kids are more of the same. When I try and let things roll off my back, (which is so, so, so hard for me! The Control Freak in me does not handle this well!) but things seem to run smoother. I am really trying to remember this right now...

So, maybe this will help someone. Maybe you will read this and think I am being dumb. But these are things I used when we were without family at Christmas. I have been lucky enough to be close to family for most of my life. It's the main reason we moved back to Canada. I have had family things going on at Christmas for many years. But, I have missed some, and had to learn tricks to making it magical and wonderful for my kids (and myself) so that it didn't feel so weird and lonely. 

I hope it might help someone. Even if it only helps them like it has helped me writing it. By reminding myself of little things that can make Christmas wonderful. By reminding myself that things can be as good as we make it, we just have to think that they already are.

Everyone needs an Old House...

Old Houses are creepy. Usually they are dark, they smell a little musty, and crowded with shadows of things you can't really see. The only light comes from an open door, or a window that may be partially covered with plywood to keep out the weather. Flash light beams bounce off dust motes when you walk through.

Old Houses make you go quiet, like you might disturb something you can't see. Even when you are there, looking for something, your voice is quieter. You move things gingerly, like something might move wrong or break. There is no hum of electricity in an Old House. Just the sound of the breeze through cracked panes of glass. Just the sound of a car going past on the gravel road. Just quiet.

Old Houses are handy. They are filled with treasures from times past. Things like Car manuals and trophies. Tarps and Tools and 'good pieces of wood'. Because when you get an Old House, you don't clean it out. You just keep putting new things in to keep safe. You forget about things you've put in there because they are a bit dated or not needed at the time. Old Houses keep your things safe from people and the weather, gently coating them in dust until they are no longer recognizable. Then when you sift through, you find Treasures you never knew you needed.

Old Houses are fascinating. Just to see how walls are priced together. How the wall paper is thick, covering wood slats, no drywall. How the cabinets inside are taller than the door frames, and wondering if they were actually made inside the house after it was built. Looking at the faded colours on the walls, lightly coated in dust and years, as you tuck another thing away...because one day you might need it.

Grampa's Old House was all of these things...and so much more. The Old House is where Christmas was stored every year, set aside until the next season rolled around. Sometimes a few seasons, as trends and tastes and needs changed, waiting to be rediscovered by someone new. Same with clothes or shoes or even tools. The Old House is where you put things 'in case you need them someday'. Things like tarps and hose and wire. Things like old molding or plywood. And when you had a project or an idea, Grampa would take you up there and help you search through things to see if he had what you needed. Then he would help you fix it...

The Old House was where the kids all learned to love horses. To ride. To work. They fed horses, brushed them, watered them and then fixed fence. They rode bareback and learned to saddle them. They helped Grampa fix the sheds and put in irrigation. They laughed and had fun. And they liked going there because of that...

                                                 

I will admit, I had a love hate relationship with that Old House. It was always kind of fun to go up with Craig when we had an idea and he would help us find something to make it happen. A piece of wood, a length of hose. Something. And I loved taking the kids up there to see the horses. It was a highlight when we would come up from California. They loved it. But I always found it a bit creepy. Too many horror flicks running through my mind when we would go up there. Or maybe it was the night before we were married, we were getting some lattice from inside, and Dustin left me alone in there, at night, with just a flashlight and then scared me as I was coming out the front door. Just not the same after that.

But the Old House was always handy. Always available...until now. Sherry was able to sell the land, even though its been listed off and on for quite a while, it finally sold. And now the Old House needed to be cleaned out.

It has been a physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting month. Trying to systematically sort through things that we may need or may not, trying to decide what's important to keep, what can we sell to help Sherry, and what is just not worth it. Trying to shuffle through years of things that were mostly forgotten is hard. Because you put them at the Old House because you might need them one day, but now we don't have a spot to store them for one day.

It was hard, because it was fast. We had to get it done, so away we plugged. But it was also good. There was a lot to do, and it felt cathartic in a way. Sifting through things, finding something and not knowing what it was and wondering why we had it. Laughing about how Craig probably kept it for such and such or because it was ' a really good piece of wood'. Having memories wash over you every time you walked through the door, and feeling weird as time past and there was less and less in there every time. Wondering if you are making the right decisions about things, and trying to get it all done in a few weeks.

I am so proud of my husband. We are pretty good procrastinators, but he was very determined that this was going to get done. And when he does that, there's not much stopping him. He worked on all his days off, and even after work most days. Sending pictures to his family, trying to determine what was what and what we should do with it. Sometimes we would just sit and look around and wonder how we were going to do it, but it got there.

I am proud of Sherry too. It's not easy to let a part of your past go. It's not easy to sift through possessions and try and figure out what you might need. It's really hard to do it in a place that is so full of memories. But she did it. And I think that's amazing. She has shown us all what true strength is.

I am going to miss the Old House. I am going to be totally weirded out driving past and seeing something new there. It may even be awhile before I can go down that road. But I am glad for it. I am glad for what it was and what it gave me and my family. I am glad for the memories we had there. I am so grateful we had an Old House...

Day 14...and Day 24

( I originally wrote this post on Day 14...it didn't save or post right and I got ticked and ignored it for a week. So this is a double dose of Quarantine Observations!)

Day 14. Two weeks since we found out we had to start Social Distancing. It is such a weird concept to do and to see happen around you. Some little  things I have observed or experienced this week.

• Dropping items off for a friend and having a text conversation through a window is weird. Especially when you know that it would normally turn into an hour long conversation during 'normal' times.
• As much of an introvert that I am, I miss going to my group fitness classes. I miss seeing the people and laughing together while we exercise. I don't work out near as hard at home, and it's not near as much fun!
• Teaching virtual classes is weird. Yelling at a computer screen to 'Get Lower' is weird. That being said, I am VERY grateful for the technology to do so. I'm glad I decided to choose multiple days to teach. It makes me accountable to be there and also makes me exercise. So even when I don't feel like it, I HAVE to show up and teach. And usually after, I am in a much better mood.
• Anxiety is a real kicker during this time. And Anxiety attacks are just so much fun! *insert sarcasm* When I used to teach clogging, I had these episodes, where I would get lightheaded, have chest pain, out of breathe, almost panicky feel of suffocating when there is nothing preventing me from breathing. Never knew what they were, or what caused it. During the last couple of years of dealing with my Depression and Anxiety, I finally figured out that those were Anxiety attacks. I haven't had one in quite a while. The last few weeks have brought them on again fairly frequently. 
• Anxiety attacks CAN happen in the middle of the night. Waking up, covered in sweat, feeling like you can't breathe and fighting off the covers because you are pretty sure that must be the issue. Ya...again, not fun.
• Anxiety makes me feel like I am out of control. To balance that, I feel the need to control what I can, usually my environment and that makes me want to have everything CLEAN ALL THE TIME. Guess what? My kids are home...ALL THE TIME! And they are quite helpful with their chores, but also, things do not stay nice during the day. Because we are always in the house, living. I am really trying to let go of that control of the house and my environment. Trying to just make sure that the stuff lying around for a bit more time is NOT a big deal...
• I am having a hard time finding things 'To Do'. In our normal lives, the kids have chores, homework, school, sports, plays, friends...we are busy. And My days are filled with running kids here and there or getting ready for busy evenings by cooking earlier so we have dinner before we leave, covering for kids' chores that they may not have time for etc. Well, we have all the time in the world right now! And to help keep my kids busy, they are in charge of chores more. And I don't have as much to 'cover' for them. And dinner time can be normal because we are home. And this Mom is finding it hard to fill her hours with things to do...there are only so many cupboards to organize!
• I am finding it hard to find motivation. And also finding it hard to not beat myself up because I am lacking motivation. When you have full days of empty hours, what do you do? I mean sometimes it's hard for me to want to DO things because I'm like WHY? Why clean, no one is going to see it. Why get up, I've got no where to go! Take a long nap? Sure! It doesn't matter if I get to bed late because I don't have to get up! And the lack of motivation has really thrown a normal routine right off track! I am struggling keeping some normalcy in our lives right now. 
• I am truly grateful for technology right now. For my kids' teachers and schools being able to send out the assignments, having Zoom checkins and video activities. It's so great. They get to have a teacher 'helping' them and they also get to check in once in a while and be connected with their classmates.
• Technology for other reasons. The whole Fortnite thing used to bug me, especially during nice weather. Just another screen distracting my kids! But now, I am glad. They can play with their friends. Laugh and Joke and talk. Same with FaceTime or House party apps. They are still able to connect with their friends, and I am so glad.
• With all of this going on, I am trying to be easy on myself AND my kids. They really have been troopers. I think we've only had a couple of arguments-fights that have led to a little tis-a-cuffs between kids. And for being stuck in a house with a bunch of smart a$$es for a month?!?! That's pretty good in my book. I am trying to keep somewhat of a routine, but also not freak out because we all slept in till 9, or 10, or Noon. I am trying not to worry if the house gets cleaned everyday. I am trying to enjoy the fact that we are together, and safe and that we have TIME to enjoy each other and have fun! Some days that may look different than others because Mom is hiding in her bedroom by 6 pm, BUT...I am still trying to find a Little Bit of Joy in all this weirdness!

Day 24...

Still a lot of the same going on, and if anything, our schedule has fallen off the tracks a bit more this week. But, we are still alive, and we still seem to like each other for the most part so I'm going to call that a win!

I went grocery shopping on Tuesday. I haven't been out of the house, besides working in Del Bonita that first week. I was so nervous and scared because, Anxiety, and all that fun crap in my thinking. But I also knew I needed to GET OUT! Originally Dustin was going to come with me, but they have recently put in place that most grocery stores you can only have 1 person going in. Too many people were going as a family to the store as a social outing. I mean, C'mon People!

So I decided to go alone. And it wasn't too bad, but I will say, besides a few empty parking lots, it looked pretty normal to me, and that kind of ticked me off. Superstore was quite busy, and the signs said 250 max, but I was constantly dodging people in aisles (trying to keep my 6 feet) and that freaked me out which makes it hard for me to concentrate which makes following my list a little harder. I'm used to just getting to go and shop all the aisles to my leisure and now I am trying to stick to my list and get in and out as quickly as I can. Most of Lethbridge seem to think that shopping on Tuesday was a great idea too! 

It makes me upset, because I felt like there was no urgency, besides a few people that you could tell. Just a normal day. But it's not normal times! They have put this Social Distancing order in affect to try and prevent the Community spread of this virus and I feel like there are a lot of people that feel 'safe' because we haven't had a lot of cases in our area. It is just a matter of time, and crowded stores are not going to help.

I really hope and pray that this doesn't go on as long as they are predicting. I hope they are wrong. But having a husband in the medical field does not make me fell any better. In fact it makes me feel worse, always worried if he is in contact with infected people and/or bringing it home. AND the fact that he has seen the numbers and read numerous things on it, and he is not overly optimistic. Yes, I know, my husband is very much a 'numbers and facts' kind of guy, and has a very logical brain, so things like Optimism and hope don't usually sprout from his mouth. So I should take that all in stride as well, but I also know, he does A LOT OF RESEARCH...on everything. And he double and triple checks facts usually. So, it is hard for me to keep up the hope and optimism that this will be all done and over in a few weeks...

But I have my kids, and they are healthy. We have the ability to stay home and have food and water and shelter. We have the ability to 'be bored' and not worry about where the money is coming from right now. That's more than others have. So I am very grateful for that.

Day 8: Trying to find a new normal...

Day 8. Has it seriously only been 8 days? Everyday seems like forever. Everyday there is just so much information that I keep looking at, news reports, emails, memes...I need to log off Facebook for a little bit, but I'm scared I'll miss something! I'm scared I'll miss something and I'm scared of everything I am reading, I am grateful for the stupid memes and the humour that helps break up the anxiety.

I had to work for my Mom last week. She didn't get to go on her vacation, but kept her holidays and had a staycation. It broke up the week for me and gave me something to do, but at the same time, it was still weird. Del Bonita Store is not a booming place, but you do see the locals fairly frequently, and even they are staying home and only stopping by quick to pick up mail. No visiting.  I cleaned the 'Bum Bench' everyday with my bleach solution, but it' wasn't really needed. No one is sitting there.

The kids' school is trying so hard to make things great for the kids. They are sending assignments and video tutorials online. The due dates are there, but at the same time, not a lot of pressure on the kids. This week we started with trying to do 'School work'. I am struggling with having a scheduled time or just let them free range. We are staying up way later than normal and since we don't have to get up, we sleep in way too long. I'm not sure what would be the best, and at the same time, there is part of me that is struggling to even care.

I think I need to give myself an assignment everyday for the house. I don't feel like cleaning because, really, who is going to see it? And in my normal world, this time of year we are prepping for baseball. A time that is usually so busy that the cleaning gets done quickly in short bursts found throughout the week. Now it feels a little useless to clean the house. I also have kids to entertain, and I am not having to fill in for their jobs because they are home. So it means a little less is needed from myself. It's a strange feeling to not have anything to do.

I started teaching Pound virtually. Oh how I am grateful for technology in these times! I was saying this to my mom the other day. My kids can FaceTime friends, they can 'play' together on Fortnite, they have basically unlimited movies on demand. They have the ability to have virtual school if needed. And I have the ability to teach via computer. It's weird, not near as fun because I don't get that interaction, but it's so good to have SOMETHING! And to move! Never before has movement and exercise felt more like therapy than now.

And how I need things for 'Therapy'. Most of the time, like probably 75% I am ok. I may seem like a fairly social person, but I am an introvert and I need 'alone' time to re connect with myself. I love my real family, my hockey and baseball families and even my girls I work out with all the time, but after a while, my body and brain feels complete exhaustion and I need a moment to just be. So the alone time is hard because it's imposed and I HAVE to, but at the same time probably not as hard as for me as for someone who thrives on social things. 

But there is that 25% that I'm really just not ok with. And 15% of that is the fact I have to deal with my kids and keeping them in close quarters and trying to teach them school and life skills and trying not to beat them by the end of the day. In fact, my kids have been pretty good. Now, it's only day 8, so we will just see how it goes, but I have enjoyed the games we have played together and the fact that we have whole evenings of not worrying who needs to get where and what needs to get done before such and such a time.

But that other 10%...

I am scared. I am worried. I feel insecure and uncertain and I DO NOT do well with that.

I like a plan! I have a color coded calendar and a Day to Day for each week. I have alarms in my phone for activities and appointments. I plan around our sports/activities timetables. I always know what is going on and what I need to do and how I need to be ready for it.

There is no plan for this! How can there be? We've never had to deal with this before. And as a person who does not deal well with that, I am struggling. I want to have game time and chill with my kids and at the same time have a schedule of what we do and when. I want to find projects to work on and find new things for us to learn because we have time, but I also just want to enjoy the quiet moments. And I want to know what we are going to do if this affects us, OUR FAMILY.

Because it will. My husband is at work right now, and I am scared that he is going to walk through the door tonight and have to Self-Isolate because he has been in contact with someone infected. I am scared that the sick will start crowding the hospital and things like masks and gloves will run short supply. I am scared that the Staff will be overtired and overworked because some of them are going to get sick. I'm scared he's going to bring it home and one of my kids could get it.

And before you say anything, yes, I know that it is not 'That bad'. But it is still a harsh infection. It can still have effects on all who are infected. And we don't know what that will look like down the road. 

So right now, I am working on the 10%. I am taking time for myself. I am reading and creating and exercising. I am praying for peace. I am trying to take each day as it comes, and trying to think of ways to protect my family, both from the virus AND from the emotional roller coaster that this whole thing is.

Day 1 of this unexpected Holiday..

This last few days has been completely unreal. Like a weird dream that the whole world is taking part in. Where everything is just a little bit out there, and you don't quite know what to believe. The emotional rollercoaster has been NUTS!!

Ok, as this is my 'journal' and I want this for future generations, here's a breakdown. It's not chronologically or medically correct, but it will give you an idea of the craziness that is gripping us worldwide, and how fast it is taking over...

At the end of December there was reports of a new virus that had emerged out of China. It was identified as 'new' or Novel and a coronavirus which is in the same family as  SARS and the common cold. It is a respiratory virus that can cause pneumonia in patients. As the days went on, soon they found cases of people outside the country of China. People who had traveled from there. By January 23, China had started to impose restrictions on travel and quarantine measures. They even started to cancel public events. January 31, the confirmed cases in China were up to 9809. There were confirmed cases through many countries in Asia and into Europe.

On February 11, WHO (World Health Organization) named the virus COVID-19. At that time there were 42,638 infected in China, with 1016 deaths. Many more cases were starting to see throughout the world. They did not have an effective treatment for this new virus, and with many of the symptoms being very routine (cough, sneeze, fever) many people did not realize they had been infected. They docked a cruise ship and quarantined the people on board. 

The virus hit Italy and as of February 21, they had 6 cases. Several countries started to close borders. People were starting to recover from the virus, but the spread was still quite rapid. Italy suspended sporting events to try and stop the spread. Less than a week after their first cases, Italy's numbers jumped to 650. More and more cases were seen throughout the world. The number of infections had surpassed 82,000 at that point.

Many airports were screening people. There was many notices telling people to look for symptoms if they had travelled etc. On March 11, WHO declared the outbreak a Pandemic. And on March 12 the global death toll had passed 4600 and the number of total infections exceeded 126,000 cases. 

Canada's first case was reported on January 25. It was a man who had traveled from China to Toronto. A few more emerged, but mostly from people who had traveled to China or were in close contact with people who had been infected. More and more notices went around about good hygiene, hand washing and looking for symptoms. Most people, including myself, kept thinking, "It's just a flu, it's no big deal. People are getting better everyday."

People started panic buying. Toilet paper, of all things, started flying off the shelves. And bottled water. I went grocery shopping on March 5, usual run for monthly groceries. Not too much difference though it was busy. I went in again on Saturday with my Mom, and toilet paper was really low. By the end of that weekend, many stores were completely out and many canned goods etc were really low. They started talking about limiting exposure to large groups of people. Some sporting teams were in talks of not allowing fans into stadiums. As of March 11, there was approximately 100 cases in all of Canada.

March 11, the NBA has one player test positive for the virus. They immediately shut down the game and a couple of hours later, they suspend the season 'until further notice'. 

Earlier that week I had talked to Dustin about it. I asked him if he thought it was as big of deal as the media etc. was making it. He said he didn't know. At first, he said, he didn't think it was. But after seeing some of the data coming out of Italy, he was a little worried. At that point, that country was basically shut down. Their hospitals were completely overrun and the medical staff was having to Triage EVERY patient, not just Covid patients. So basically choosing who they thought had a better chance at survival, and who they had to set aside and hope for the best. He said THAT is what he was worried about. Our ER's in Alberta are extremely abused with people coming in with colds, flu, lots of little things that are not emergent. He was worried that people would start coming in with this new virus, infecting everyone else OR coming in thinking they had it and catching it and taking it back out and these two things causing a backup and some regular emergencies, like car accidents or heart attacks, and it would be really hard to treat everyone. Watching people panic buy toilet paper really would make you think that yes, when it hits here, they will flood the hospitals and clinics.

So basically he was worried about people panicking and causing a bigger problem than the actual virus itself. The virus can be dangerous to some, elderly, immune-compromised, but it seemed to be relatively less dangerous to healthy humans. People freaking out or just ignoring symptoms is what would cause the major problems.

March 12 - we wake up still amazed that the NBA is closing down. We hear of friends in other places that are having certain events etc being cancelled. Mostly in California. Then we see that the NHL will be suspending play, the MLS is as well and the MLB is pushing opening day and stopping Spring Training. We joke about how we thought about going to Arizona to watch baseball. We start talking about how, yes, it's a good thing. There are too many people at those events. That's a good precaution. 

Then I see that Disneyland is closing for the rest of March! Now that is crazy to me. It has only closed 4 times in history. Then we get the news, church services will not be held in buildings. All meetings are suspended. We had heard that they were only going to be broadcasting conference, no spectators, but closing church?!? Then we heard that Basketball zones we're postponed. All events of 250 people were to be suspended in Alberta. There were talks of closing the Universities and Colleges. And then Hockey Canada shut down all sanctioned events, including practices.

That one really hit me. I mean, my boys are done their season, it doesn't really affect them, but they have friends on the Midget and Atom teams that were slated to go to Provincials in a week. Some of the kids, this was their last year! Many of them will never get the chance again...and all of that just done. 

It's the same with basketball or many of the other sporting events across North America. NCAA tournaments were all suspended. There now were no sports to be heard of...it was unreal. It felt so dreamlike. Like someone was going to post on Facebook, 'Just Kidding!!'. It just was too crazy.

At the beginning of the week there was memes floating around about how it was Time change, full moon and Friday the 13th this week...Good luck! Oh and Corona, so wash your hands. And now a big snowstorm Southern Alberta...school was a snow day on Friday...

I said, that I wouldn't be surprised if school is cancelled on Monday. But all through the weekend, nothing. More confirmed cases, more talk of 'Social Distancing' and hand washing and 'Flattening the Curve'. Jokes of TP hoarding and not having any food raged through Facebook. As of March 14 there were 39 cases in Alberta.

It was a quiet weekend. Nothing going on, nothing even planned because my kids were done everything, and then it snowed and got cold, so it was a great start to 'Self Isolation' for us. I was a little out of it. I DO NOT do well when I don't know what is happening. I like to have a plan. I like to be ready. (hence why I didn't worry about TP, because I always have a stockpile) So, since my anxiety is a lot about control, and I couldn't control what was going on, but I could control my environment, I made my kids SUPER clean the house. Bleach is my friend. Though, I will admit, the house really needed it. Hockey season is long and busy and the house gets minimal attention most weekends. So I was determined to feel like I had done my part in our home.

Sunday we had a late brunch, and because there is a Pandemic going on, let's watch the Pandemic series on Netflix...I'm sure that that has helped me oh so much *insert sarcasm here* And then Brody comes in, jumping for joy, that 'There's no school! They cancelled school!' We grabbed our phones and searched and sure enough, the Press conference saying, that there were now 56 cases in Alberta, including some from 'community contact' and now all schools and daycares would be closed.

It was a little like something in my snapped. I think I was really holding on to that hope that this would blow over and things would be normal in the next couple of weeks. But no, school was cancelled, indefinitely. As in, they are pushing kids through their grades and the earliest they will reopen is September. 5 months of Summer...

I have been feeling better today, but yesterday I was freaking out. Like, what am I supposed to do with them? for 5 months!! Everything is closed, activities, rec centers. And as a good citizen, you are trying to keep them home and out of public as much as possible. I'm not sure if I will survive...or maybe I should rephrase that. I'm not sure if my children will survive.

Right now, they think it's awesome. no school, Playstation and tv all day. I'm sure the boredom will hit in the next few days when everything loses its appeal. It's warming up, thankfully, so now I can send them outside to get out of my hair. But I am just feeling so out of sorts. I used to be really good with making my little schedules and following daily routines. When they were little and you basically control everything they do. Now they are big and it's so much more of a fight to get them to do things, that making a daily routine??? BAHAHAHAH! Ya right!

So it's Day 1 of 166 days of summer...and I'm trying to work on my coping skills as of right now. Trying to just breathe and let my kids have a little fun. The last thing they need is Mom having a complete breakdown, or even a partial one. Trying to come up with fun ideas for them to learn Life Skills, like cooking and budgeting and talking on the phone (Coop seriously has troubles with that) Hoping that we can use this time to bond together as a family. That I can teach them a few things about life and perseverance. And that maybe, we slow down a little and enjoy the extra time we have.