My ER Nurse...

It's Emergency Nurses Week. I am married to one. He is amazing in so many ways, and a lot of those ways are because he is an Emergency Nurse. This is my post to him, to his colleagues past and present, and to their families...

My husband is an Emergency Nurse. He has been for 13 years, ever since he graduated from school. Except a small 2 week stint in the Cath Lab, and now the odd shift at the Dental Office, he has always worked in the ER. I have seen many changes in him throughout the years, some good and some sad, but all have shaped him into the Man he is today. And they make me appreciate what he does, day in and day out, for me and my kids and for the people he is helping.

I have watched him come home excited from a days work in Bakersfield because of something new he has learned or that a Doctor let him try. That doesn't happen as often in Canada. It's a different environment. But he still comes home and he seems 'happier' than other days. I put that in quotes because it's not quite the right word. Maybe satisfied would be better. Like things actually worked out  today and made him feel like he made a difference. Those are the days I look forward to, because he is wanting to talk or hear about our days. I think sometimes those are the days that keep him going...

Now he will probably say that this is bull$#!/, that he just goes to work because its a job, and it pays the bills. And partly that is true. But I've seen the good days and the bad days come home. I've seen the hard days take its toll on him, on me and on my family. So I know that there has to be some good days to keep him going...

Those hard days are hard for him. He may not say much about it to me. But I know its happened. He shuts himself away from us for a couple of hours to 'decompress'. And I don't think he even realizes he is doing it, but I know he needs it, and I know it must have been a not so great day when he disappears when he gets home from work. I see it in his face, the tired look in his eyes and how he almost can't even handle me and the kids. But he does, because he loves us.

I've watched him come home and just hold my kids because of a patient they lost. I've watched him run into the house just to pee because he didn't get a break all day. I've watched him give up watching his kids play sports because he has to work. I've watched him plan vacations around sporting events or family functions so he can spend more time with them. I've watched him get up early to help coach one kid, go to work all day, and come home to coach another kid, sometimes just eating for the 5 minutes in between.I've watched him get up 2 hours early so he can have Christmas Morning with his kids, because he's going to have to work all day. I've gotten many a calls or texts saying he has to stay a little longer because he is needed there. I've sat waiting at home, knowing he's late because traumas don't end because your shift does. I've watched him turn a little more jaded through the years because of treating the same drunks and drug seekers over and over and not really helping. I've watched him grow into the amazing father and husband and man he is because he's not scared to sacrifice for us.

But having an ER nurse in your life is also an amazing thing. They are super calm in the weirdest situations. They also know how to really 'let go' of things and just accept life flying at them at a ridiculous pace. These are the two best things I have witnessed in my husband. But mostly for my benefit because I am a basket case with anything crazy. He is my calm, my rock. A few words of comfort and a well timed joke usually help me see through the storm and calm down. That sometimes makes me feel bad, because he has to take care of bizarre things on a regular basis and then he gets to come home to his crazy wife and kids. But he does it. Willingly taking care of my crazy so I can take care of our family. Willingly helping me run the kids all over on his days off when I'm sure he'd rather sleep in. Willingly putting aside the jaded attitude that the world out there has given him, to put on a smile and sarcastic wit to help me see the brighter things in our life.

It is a separate life he lives and keeps from us. He keeps it from us, because to someone who doesn't work in that environment, it's hard to understand. It's trauma. And it's not just trauma to the people that are sick or hurt or dying. It's trauma to the ones trying to get those people through that. It's hard to explain about watching someone die or not being able to help or feeling someone's ribs crack under your hands while you give CPR. It's hard not to bring that into your everyday life, to just let go and forget about those patients and their families that you are helping and comforting and trying to make a difference for. It's hard to not think about those things while trying to take care of your family and be there for them.

This separate life is really hard for me to accept. I feel very outside when I am with him and he is with his 'ER Family'. They have a bond with him that I will never have because of the things that they deal with and go through together just about everyday. But I am grateful for them. I am grateful he has them to support and be there for him, to understand what he has to deal with in a way that I never will be able to. I am glad that they have each other to support one another and try and make the best out of scary and crazy situations.

ER nurses put up with a lot of $#!/, both literally and figuratively. And they do it both for their families and the families that need them. They work hard on holidays and weekends and nights to make sure you have somewhere to go if you are really hurt, or even not so hurt. They learn to support each other through the crisis and then go home to their families and support them through life. They learn to get through the crazy, and go home with a good attitude, because their families need them outside of work. Er Nurses help patients get through hard things, and then go home and help their kids get through Math. They have two lives, and therefor, two families. One family helps them get through work, and the other waits for them to come home from work.

I am grateful for my ER nurse. I am grateful for his ER family that help him get through his job, so that he can come home to us. I am grateful he has that support to get him though his days, so he can come home and support me and our kids. I am grateful for the things he has learned and seen and how they have shaped him into the person he is. I am so proud of my ER Nurse and proud of everything he has done to build the life we have together.

Back to School!

It is back to school!! I love back to school...not because my kids are gone all day...though that can be nice...but because we get back to a regular schedule. I don't have to argue as much about bedtimes or late nights because we all know it's school nights and that just ain't happenin' around this house! 

I am a little sad because this little dude is in Grade 1! And he is at school ALL day long....sometimes I'm just not sure what to do with myself! He really likes it and I haven't had to fight with him at all about going. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing...

Funny story about Cooper. He is becoming quite the smart alec...and he knows it...and he thinks he's hilarious!

So it was a little cooler at the beginning of September...like we even had snow! So, we have been wearing pants etc. Well, it's been nice and warm for a few days and Cooper sees his Dad sitting on the couch in jeans. He says:

Dad, you're wearing jeans....it's like, really hot outside....what's up with that?!?

Then he proceeds to laugh.

Then, he was driving with his Dad in the car and he asks:

Dad, how old are you? Your head almost touches the roof!

Dad: We'll, I'm 35.

Cooper: Maybe when you're 37, you will be big enough to touch the roof.

Dad: We'll buddy, when you get to be 18 or 20, you don't get any bigger...you are as big as you will get.

Cooper: That's not true! You will still grow!

Dad: It is! Ask your Mom.

Cooper: I'll ask Brody, he's the second smartest in the family.

Dad: What about Gracie?

Cooper: well, she's like third smartest.

Dad: Well what about Mom?

Cooper: Well, when you get old, you forget all the things you learned in school...so she's the fourth smartest.

So his Dad tells me this story, and I'm feeling a little bad...so I ask Cooper about it. He says "Ya, your the fourth smartest." I hang my head and walk away and he yells after me, "Don't worry Mom, I'm the fifth smartest!"

Yep, that makes me feel better...I'm just smarter than the six year old...

Oh, Cooper. What am I ever going to do with you...

This girl is in Grade Six! Holy Cow! I can't even comprehend this some days, it doesn't even seem possible...but, it's true. She is really turning into quite the young lady. Sass and all!

She decided to run for Vice President this year, and I was so proud of her for trying it! She had to give a speech and everything! She did well, but did not win...this time. Maybe next round!

I love that this girl loves things like music and gets embarrassed about boys and kissing...but still wants to play house and barbies. She is growing up, but she is still a little girl.

On the second day of school,I had a hard time waking her up. When I finally got her up, she asks me " Why do I have to get up?" I told her she had school, she had to get up and get ready. She says, "We had school yesterday...I thought we would school the one day, and then have a long weekend...." 

Wow. I'm sure glad she pays attention....

Oh little girl....we love you so much!

Brody Brody Brody....you are such a good boy, but such a stinker sometimes! He is in Grade Four, and right now is reading at a Grade 7 level...he's such a smarty! He says he doesn't really like school, because he gets bored...hopefully this year will start to be a bit more challenging and get him excited about it again!

I was trying to think of something funny that he has said lately...but I couldn't really think of anything. Though the other day, I was getting a bit frustrated with the kids and he says to me..."You can't get mad at me...I'm the good kid!"

He is a good kid, with such a big heart and kind spirit.

I just love him!

These kids are the light of my life. I am so grateful I get to be their Mom! I do enjoy my time at home when they are at school, but I do love it when they are here with me, too. They make my life exciting and fun, challenging and joyful. They make me laugh and cry...and have taught me so much about life and love. 

I am so grateful for these three amazing blessings in my life!

Spring Training 2014: Arizona Bound!!

So this was probably one of the most FUN vacations I have ever took. It was laid back and relaxing, but it was also fun and I got to see and do lots of stuff! The kids loved it, too. In fact, this was the first vacation that they asked 'Why do we have to go home?' 

They are usually ready to be home by the end.

We talked about this one for awhile, when I had heard from a friend about her and her husbands quick weekend trip to Arizona for Spring Training. When I talked to Dustin about it, he was all over that. We always LOVED going to the Angels games in Anaheim, and we really miss it. So, this was going to be awesome...

I think the BEST part was the SUN!! 

Oh, I had a bad winter this year. I was really down and feeling just BLAH....all the time. Lots of stress with hockey this year, and I also was having some weird heart thing (story for later) 

Needless to say, my body was CRAVING the vitamin D.

I always thought that the whole 'Sunshine Therapy' thing was a bit of a crock...I mean come on! How can that possibly make a difference. After this year, and after this trip, I am a FULL believer. I felt better after 6 days in the Arizona sunshine than I had ALL winter. 

I am currently stocking up on Vitamin D pills and this winter I will have to suck it up in the cold and get out in the SUN!!

But, Arizona was SUPER FUN!!

Plane delay included.

We even got to see my Mom and Dad. They had booked a trip down to visit my Aunt Sandra and Uncle Gary. They have a place in Apache Junction. So we went over there to visit, swim in their pool and pick the delicious oranges from the tree in the back yard!!

And Dustin took Mom and Dad and the two older kids to a Cubbie game on one of the nights. I thought we would go to 1 game...my husband said

 'If we are down here, I'm going to as many as I can!' Oh, boy....

But that's not all we did.

I wanted to SEE some stuff! I mean, what's the point of going somewhere new if you can't SEE new things?! So we hit the zoo...typical right?

I really like zoos...Dustin doesn't really care for them because it involves a lot of walking and just looking. But the kids like them too, so he sucks it up. What I like about zoos in different cities and areas, is you see some of the native wildlife and nature. So walking around the Phoenix Zoo we seen lots of different kinds of Cacti (which were in bloom because it was SPRING!), little lizards and little fluffy bunnies! Much to Gracie's delight.

This was Dustin's favorite part...this giant turtle! It was huge. Its quite a ways from the fence so its hard to really show the size compared to Cooper, but I would bet it was close to the size of a small car...Crazy!

But we did make it to a couple of games. And spring training games are awesome! The stadiums are a lot smaller and you tend to be a lot closer and you don't feel like you are going to get lost walking around. We sat on the grass along the outfield fence each time, which, at first I was skeptical...that can't be great, can it?!

But it worked great, especially with the kids. we stretched out our sheet and basked in the sunshine and enjoyed the Great American Past time, and the kids switched from watching the game, to playing cards. They could also get up and walk around a bit, especially near the end of the game when the crowds dwindled. Most relaxing time at a ball park yet!

So, Dustin and the big kids went to a Cubs game, and then we kit 2 Angels games. One against Milwaukee, and one against Cleveland. So much fun!

Brody even got a ball from the Bull pen...

The kids favorite part was the pool, and we went swimming every day. Little Cooper man was kind of a wuss, but by the end of the trip he swimming and splashing with the best of them!

 Seriously one of the best vacations ever!

I love taking my kids to new places and I am so grateful I have the opportunity and the means to do it. I am also grateful for their Dad. He also loves taking them places and he works hard so we can do these kind of things together.

 He also helps me out a lot on these vacations so it doesn't feel crazy and overwhelming for the mother in this family. I get to enjoy and relax and have fun too!

I love my little family...

A little reminder...

Today I was again reminded of who I am...of who I can become...and what I am really working towards. I was reminded that my Heavenly Father KNOWS me, and loves me, and knows exactly what I need...even if I can't quite see it.

I was just called to be the Second Councilor in the Young Women's Presidency. I have been the Mia Maid advisor for the last 3 years and I have enjoyed it. I have really learned a lot about myself and the girls and, since they have changed the Youth Cirriculum, a lot about the Gospel. 

But when they asked me to do this, I was nervous. It's a little more responsibility and I will admit I was scared and a little upset. I was thinking of myself and how much work it would be and that I didn't think I was ready for that etc. etc. I know in my heart, that Heavenly Father calls people to where He needs them and where they need to be. But I was pretty sure I couldn't handle it. (When stuff like this comes up, this selfish beast inside me tries to get out, and it makes me want to hibernate in my house and not do ANYTHING!)

Also, being in charge if the Beehives and having Beehive Camp coming up right away, during a VERY busy week in my personal life, and not really knowing what to do or expect, I was feeling slightly stressed...and agitated...and a little overwhelmed.

So today (after I also had to teach the combined lesson in Young Women's...add another point to my stress level) we were set apart by the Bishopric. That's par for the course, right?! Well when it was my turn, Bishop Maxwell set me apart and gave me a really beautiful and very needed blessing to go along with it. He said that my Heavenly Father was aware of what I am going through in my life and was aware of my efforts. He also said that I would be blessed for serving and for being an example to my husband and my children and they would recognize my efforts and realize my Testimony of the Gospel...

It was honestly the best thing I could have heard all day. It was just what I needed to hear, and I felt so loved, and I knew He was watching over me and He will help me with this calling. I know it won't be simple, but I was reminded today that my Heavenly Father and my Savior are there for me, and they will help me and guide me through this calling, and with anything else that I may need. I am so grateful for this knowledge! It will be a grat way to start Beehive Camp this week!

Adventures of 2013

Umm...Picture overload!!

Its been a busy year...and this post is a little late, but I thought I'd give a little rundown of our happenings in 2013. Especially since I didn't send out a little letter with our Christmas cards!

 We loved our California trip! It was so fun to see Disneyland, and the beach and of course our many friends. I'm hoping we can make another trip sometime to see them all again!!

 Oh how I missed the beach!! 

 Gracie took clogging again, and they didn't have competitions, but did a recital at the end of the year. Here is the little 'Jailhouse Rock' Elvis impersonator!!

 All the kids played ball. Brody enjoyed coach pitch and is looking forward to baseball next year.

 Gracie played softball with the girls team..(slow pitch, no fast pitch teams around here!)

And Cooper loved T-ball this year. He was actually excited to play, 

which made my life alot easier, since I had to coach him!!

 Brody has really enjoyed Hockey this year and has really grown close to his hockey friends. 

His team won the Novice 'C' Division this year, 

losing the league title in a 5 game play off that was pretty close! They did so well!

We tore up our back yard with great intent of some grand renovations... 

so far they haven't happened..hoping 2014 brings them to pass!!

Dustin had fun tearing things up though!

 I'm still in Young Womens and really enjoying it. The girls keep me Young!! We went on this awesome hike in the summer just before camp. It was a Daddy/Daughter hike, which was alot of fun for both the Dad's and girls. They had a questionnaire to get to know each other better!!

Gracie participated in her first Track and Field. She did pretty good, 

but she is still pretty small compared to the other kids her age. 

But she tried hard at everything and didn't give up.. I told her that was the most important part!

Grampa Craig and Gramma Sherry celebrated their 40th Wedding Anniversary this year. 

Jamie and Jody and the kids came down, and we had dinner as a family. 

We are so grateful for these two people in our lives and the example that they set for us!!

Cooper turned 5 and had a 'Spy' Birthday...he loved it...and so did the 10 other 5 year old boys! 

Talk about CRAZY!!

 Brody and Gracie had a pool party for their brithday...that was nice and easy on the Momma...

Jamie and Jody moved to Houston!! 

Sad, but we will have a nice getaway place now!!

As close to a beach as we have around here...Wally's is always fun in the summer!!

I completed my second triathlon. I was a little disappointed I didn't improved my time...but I finished!!

We went to Seattle and took in the sights...and a ball game!!

My Brody got baptized!! I can't believe he's 8!

His Dad baptized him and Uncle Steve baptized Ryder and Gage as well.

We are so proud of this little man!!

The boys are both playing hockey again this year. Brody is obsessed!! Cooper likes it alot more this year, and even though he's not totally into the game, he is improving each time!!

Its been a crazy busy year, but full of fun and laughter and love. I so enjoy my little family and all that I get to experience with them. I can't wait to see what 2014 has in store for us!!

Happy New Year family and friends! 

We hope your 2014 is filled with many Adventures as well!!