My Other Dad...

I was lucky enough to find my second family 23 years ago.They have always welcomed me and treated me like I was blood since I first started dating Dustin. Even our grandparents were excited, since they had been friends in Del Bonita and now they could conspire to join the two families. I may have been shy and awkward at first, but I never doubted their love for me.

I'm going to tell you about my other Dad...

I didn't know Craig when he was younger. I only knew him when I was a shy teenager, dating his son.  I'm sure my time at the rink watching little Greg play, and then into the teen years watching the boys play I had met him, and I knew who he was, but as hard as I can, I cannot remember the first time I actually met him. But I can tell you, he always welcomed me into their home. He never made me feel weird, like an outsider, and he used to always tell me to "Drive Safe," when I was heading back to Del Bonita. Oh, and he always tried to fill me with food. And when I met Gramma Shirley, I knew exactly where that came from!

When we lived in California and I came home the first time by myself with the kids, I knew that I couldn't just stay in Del Bonita. I wanted my kids to know BOTH grandparents just as well. (and it gives everyone a little break from a hurricane toddler and a whiny baby!) And I remember feeling so nervous about staying at Craig and Sherry's BY MYSELF! I don't know why, but I did. But after I got there, I had to laugh at myself, because they treated me and my kids just like they would have if Dustin had been there. They hugged me and loved and spoiled my kids just like my parents did. After that, I never felt nervous about staying there. It was just my other home.

Craig was always so good to help us with ANYTHING! And he couldn't just help. He wanted to make sure that whatever he was doing, whether it was fixing a fuse on a socket, or learning how to shoot a gun properly or tearing up my backyard, he made sure that whatever person was there was learning how to do it too. He didn't care if it took an extra two hours to accomplish the task, he taught them how to do the job right, and made sure they knew how to do the job by themselves next time. He would let the grandkids work the tools, taught them how to do it properly so they wouldn't get hurt, and let them learn for themselves how to make something better.

I love this picture...this is Dustin tearing up the old stumps in the backyard. Craig had brought over his little backhoe and was showing him how to do it, giving him tips, but never taking over. Letting Dustin do it for himself. I call Dustin 'Mini Craig' because so many times he has taken the knowledge that his Dad has given him over the years and made/built/fixed something for our family. 

He loved his kids so much. You could tell by the way he talked about them. He could kind of talk them up without sounding too braggy. You could ask him what anyone of them or their spouse's was doing, and he knew. He was proud of them and all they have done. There are 5 of us imports and he showed us just as much love as his own kids. I remember when I was teaching clogging, and after a recital one time when Leanne was younger, he said something along the lines of "Dancing really isn't my thing, but you guys sure did a good job. Proud of you, kiddo."

And because he knew what the kids were up to, he DEFINITELY knew what the grandkids were up to! I don't want to say he loves the grandkids more, but he loves them in a different way. The way any grandparent loves their grandchildren. You love your kids, but they put you through the ringer!

 Your grandkids you love with more patience and wisdom. You've been through the fight with children and come out on the other side, and now you have more children to love and cuddle and teach, but not as many responsibilities! Lots of love and more to enjoy with the grandkids I think. 

And Craig enjoyed his grandkids to the fullest.

He loved to call the kids all the time. When we first moved to California, it was really hard, and Skype wasn't great yet, so we would try, but mostly we talked on the phone. Near the end of our sojourn, as technology got a little better, Skype was easier, but when he got Face-Time!?! He loved that! Getting to SEE his grandkids and talk to them at the same time!?! I don't know if he calls his grandkids that live farther away on the phone anymore. I think he always Face-timed them. He even called us, on a weekly basis, to check and see if there was anything he could help us with. Even though we were just down the block! He would call and see what the kids were up to, or ask the kids to help him move bales or with something in the yard. Or even offer some company when he knew I had to drive to hockey by myself and the weather was going to be bad...

He loved going to their sporting events, school events whatever. He loved helping them make Cub Cars in the garage. He loved taking them fishing and hunting and showing them how to properly use a gun so they could learn to enjoy the Great Outdoors as much as he did. He loved letting them do things like put gas on the fire before lighting it, that made us parents wince, but he got to do it because that's what grandpa's do. They get to spoil the kids and let them get away with having cookies before dinner, or hauling them up the snow hill during sledding, because "Its a long ways to walk!" Grandpa's are crazy enough to take 5 or 6 kids gopher hunting at the same time, and loved enough that the kids listen and no one gets shot! He was the Grandpa that loved them so much that he was like the other 'Dad' that the kids could go to for advice and love, with less of the Parental judgement. His love was always unconditional...

Craig loved helping others around him, almost as much as he loved helping his family. If he heard of someone needing something done, and he had a tool for it, he would call and lend a hand or lend a tool! He loved sharpening skates for the kids, especially when they came to the door and he got to visit with them in the shop while he did it. He made sure his candy bin was full so the kids could have a little treat after, too! He loved talking to people that walked by the house, or at the rink or ballgames. He had a lot of wisdom about life that he offered to everyone around him. He liked working on Town Council because he loved our little town of Magrath and wanted to make it the best place for everyone. He loved kids of all sizes, and even the 'kids' that grew up, he still loved to visit with them and hear what they were up to. He was a friend and Dad and Grampa to everyone.

Right now, I am not sure what we will do without him. He is such an integral part of our lives, I can't imagine not having him around. I try not to feel the anger that he is gone way too soon. I try not to feel bitter that it's not fair that we had to lose him. I'm trying to embrace the knowledge that life continues after this, that our loved ones are their waiting for us, that we will see him again. 

But it's hard. It's really really hard.

I am trying to think about what Craig has taught Dustin, my kids and myself. About helping those around you, and loving your people unconditionally and being there when they need you. About working hard and learning to fix things and, if you can't fix it yourself, learning how to, so next time you can. Learning to save for a rainy day, but also how to splurge a little on a sno-bob for a job well done. I look at the man I married, and I see so much of his Dad in him, and I also grateful for what Craig has given me and my kids through Dustin. I think about all the things he has taught us and showed us over these years and I know we have learned so much from him,

 and I wonder how we can put all that into our lives, and be more like him.  

Work hard, take extra time, be more loving to everyone around us, like he was.

 To live our lives like he lived his, so we can honour him and what he taught us.

So I look through pictures. 

I like pictures because I like capturing moments of happiness, and then being able to look back on them and remember. And so that is how I deal with things like this. I look through pictures and see the happy moments in our lives that Craig has touched. 

Most pictures of Craig, he has that huge smile on his face. But, I have very few pictures where he is looking at the camera. No, he isn't looking because he is too busy doing something with a kid or grandchild. He is too busy teaching them how to do shoot a gun or fix a faucet or love a horse. He's too busy making sure that skates are ready for game day or that glasses are mended or that calculators have names engraved on them so no one looses them. He's too busy making that child feel loved and respected, teaching them how to be their best selves. He's too busy making sure his town feels like a small village, a family place that people feel safe and loved. 

A place where people want to come back home. Just like he made his own home feel to his family.

 He was too busy loving us, helping us, and making us better people, to look at the camera...