I don't like to think!

I really don't like the fact that I can not shut my brain off at night. If I have a problem, or if I am working on something, or if something is bothering me, all night I just sit and think about it, and if I do get to sleep, all I do is dream about it! I HATE that! Not a very restful sleep. I'm not even sure why I'm like that. My husband crawls into bed, rolls over, and is snoring in like 5 minutes. I'm a little jealous. Even if we have been discussing something, or having an argument or anything else that could be going wrong in the world. It just slides off his back. He has the attitude, that yes, it might upset him or make him mad, but there's not a whole lot he can do to change things, so why let it bother him? I wish I was more like that! Everything bothers me!

It used to be really bad when I taught dance because I had to deal with the stress of teaching, dealing with kids and their parents, trying to make everyone happy. Dustin used to tell me all the time: "You can't make everyone happy." But I tried and I was usually the one to suffer because of it. It got so bad, that at times I would take sleeping pills, just to get a good nights sleep because it had been days since I had had one. I'm getting better now. Probably because I'm not dealing with that mess anymore, but also I realized when we moved down here, I HAD to take care of myself. When we were first down here and knew no one, who did I have to rely on? Dustin was at work most of the time, he was a help when he was at home, but the rest....All I had was myself. If I didn't take care of me then who would take care of my kids? 

So I'm learning that I can't make everyone happy...even if I try, there's always someone that complains. Even if I have the best intentions, there's always someone that will find something wrong with what I'm doing. I am just as guilty at doing this to others as well. Aren't we all? Isn't it easier to find fault in something than to see the effort and thought put behind it? Isn't it hard to see that someone else could have a valid point when we want our way to be right? Maybe I need to see the good behind things, to see it from someone else's point of view. Its hard to do, but maybe it will help me let go of the things that are bugging me. And though I can change myself, I can not change anyone else, and I'm starting to realize that you can try as much as you like, but you can not make anyone do anything they don't want to. You can suggest things and nudge them in the direction you want them to go, but, ultimately it is their decision to make. And I must learn to let go.....

God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.